The Moment

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and an interesting topic came up. Just one in a two-hour conversation, but it was a good one nonetheless. The topic was, ‘are you okay leaving an event early?’ Whether it is just a chill hangout, a wedding, or, I don’t know, a family picnic. We disagreed which I knew we would. I took the stance of being okay with leaving, and he said he would not want to. Again, due to our personalities, the conversation became about “The Moment.” 

Loosely defined, “The Moment” is the flow state of a party, the point in the night where everything is locked in and everybody is having a good time. We’re all trying to get to that place at any event, not just parties. 

He argued that he doesn’t want to miss anything. It is a fair argument, and is one that I have admittedly used at times in life (the family picnic). You never know when something good is gonna happen and indeed “The Moment”... it comes when you stop looking for it. A couple Capri Suns go down and maybe a sandwich and uncle Bill is trying to get all the kids to play volleyball shirts versus skins, or however your family picnics go. And then cousin Matty pulls you off to the side and he has a roman candle leftover from the Fourth and you guys decide to light it off in the direction of the gazebo where uncle Bill and aunt Kathy are arguing, making up, and making out. I don’t know how many times I have to hear my mom say Kathy needs to leave him, but they’re both freaks. “The Moment”... is made. We’re dying laughing before a beating, and Bill’s back hair is on fire. He never put his shirt back on. But that level of excitement rarely happens. That doesn’t matter to my friend though. The conversations can’t get missed for him. 

I am a little bit different I guess, where if I get any of what I need to feel “The Moment”...I am good. I hang out and see my friends have fun and get into that flow state. Once I get it, then what? I'm twenty-five. The craziest thing we do anymore is send our electronic receipts to each other. And I’ve been friends with them since I was sixteen. What more can we talk about? We always find something, but I am fully aware that we mostly rehash and joke around with each other more than anything.

It all depends on if you’re having a good time obviously. It is okay to leave when the moment you're waiting for is seeing Bill and Kathy fight again, their daughter Victoria moved away for college and it has been even worse lately. But if you’re laughing, playing games, conversing, being present in the moment … everything is good. I landed on the realization the moment can't be missed because the moment is on you. You’ll never get there if you're not expecting it, waiting for it, or indifferent. The moment is always happening. Until somebody dies, moves, or has a kid. Then it might happen less.

I was always so worried about the moment not happening for me that I never even gave myself the opportunity to put myself in the right mindset to be part of it. I was too preoccupied with outside factors that were not affecting my ability to have a good time, but I let them. For the better part of ten years I have been working on that part of me. That being the moment isn’t real, stop worrying about missing things. Just don't put pressure on the easy things in life, like picnics.