Chivalry Isn't Dead, 'Bro'
I swear, if I hear one more guy call his girlfriend “bro,” I’m going to lose my mind and bash my head into a brick wall.
Look, I get it. It’s 2026, language evolves and times have changed. But surely we haven’t slid to the point where we address our girlfriends and wives exactly like our frat buddies, have we?
Take Brad, for example. Overall, Brad is a decent college guy, but I can picture it perfectly: Brad picks up his girlfriend for a date at a nice restaurant. She has spent hours getting ready and is genuinely excited. Yet, when Brad arrives, he just waits in his car in the driveway blasting his music. When she lets herself into the car, Brad looks deeply into her eyes and says, “Yo, bro, you look beautiful tonight, dude!” To this day, nobody knows if Brad got dumped that night.
Growing up, I was always taught to hold doors open for people. I remember my dad never failing to drop off my mom at store entrances during freezing weather, and always unlocking her passenger door before getting into his own seat.
Yet in an unbelievably ironic plot twist, many of the “Brad girlfriends” are actually taking the word “bro” as an endearing term rather than a bad thing. To them, it has started to signify best friend and entry into Brad’s sacred inner circle, rather than a squat-rack-spotting, Madden-playing teammate.
While we aren’t expecting a knight on a white horse, we can still attempt to bring back the age of the gentleman. Some might worry this implies outdated gender roles, or the idea that a man opens a door to assert control or because he expects a reward. But true chivalry in 2026 isn’t about acting superior; it is basic human courtesy. A gentleman doesn’t hold a door open because he thinks someone is weak; rather, he does it out of genuine consideration, with zero strings attached.
Hey fellas, pay attention - especially all the Brads out there.
First, chill out a bit on the whole “bro” energy. It’s cool your girlfriend is your
best friend and all, but there is a time to treat her like she’s your gym buddy, and then there is a time to show some actual romance. When you take her out, relax on the frat-guy impersonation.
Second, for crying out loud, when you pick her up, get out of the car and go knock on the door. And when you get to dinner, put your phone away. She doesn’t want to hear about your Madden stats, she wants to see that you’re willing to put in the effort.
I’m just saying, stop calling your girlfriend “bro.” If you want to date a “bro,” there is a different app for that.
Chivalry isn’t dead, bro; it’s just hiding under your backward baseball cap. Now
for Pete’s sake, flip your cap around, kill your crappy music and go knock on that door.
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